KARIN ARMBRUSTER: To mom, or not to mom
Moms. You gotta love them.
Moms are some of the hardest working people in the world. They provide comfort after skinned knees and nightmares. They are incredible multitaskers. Some work two jobs just to make sure their child or children have food on the table and a roof over their heads.
Moms seem to be able to do it all, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year.
I, however, am one of the few women who are not seeking to join the club.
I’ve been looked down on for not wanting children. I’ve received my share of disapproving looks as if being a mother is the only reason to be a woman or it’s the only thing women were made to do in their lives.
But I’ve never felt a maternal instinct. As a child, my room was filled with stuffed animals instead of baby dolls. I didn’t enjoy playing “house” or being a parental figure in the skits my friends and I performed during sleepovers. Being a mom has never been on my bucket list. To be honest, I’ve never felt 100 percent comfortable around children of any age, even when they are members of my extended family.
I don’t believe I’m really cut out to be a mother.
It’s not the pain of childbirth (though that scares me to no end), diaper changing or even waking up to screams at 3 a.m. I can deal with all that. When I think of motherhood, I think of childhood alongside my older brother and what we put my mom through. Constant – yes, constant – fighting, testing her limits, refusing to do daily chores, stressing her out beyond belief. Obviously there were plenty of good times, but right now the negatives are outweighing the positives and making me less than confident I could handle it all.
I bet I can count on less than five fingers how many times I’ve seriously thought about having children of my own – either through adoption or natural process. For as long as I can remember I‘ve been told, “you’ll change your mind when you get older.” But I haven’t yet, and I’m 28.
Of course, I’m open to the idea that my opinion could change, and if it does, I guess everyone was right. But for now, I’ll experience motherhood vicariously through my coworker, Whitney, who writes a charming, pointed and down to Earth parenting column for Saturday’s edition of the Pioneer.
As a non-parent with little desire for my own children, I enjoy reading it every week.
So to all the moms out there – you’re amazing, deserving of the utmost respect. You always should be cherished and loved. Your hard work has not gone unseen or unappreciated. Still, I will leave you with the sleepless nights, potty training, the testing of nerves and the completely wonderful, loving and worth-it-all moments that make motherhood special.
Happy Mother’s Day.