Please. Please. Please.

If you are a supporter of the GOP, PLEASE choose Ted Cruz as your next candidate for the presidency.

It would make my life sooooooo easy.

Frankly, I am a little surprised at the amount of support Cruz has managed to pick up over the past few months, in spite of his far too occasional stupid outbursts and comments (usually in hyper-conservative forums).

I’m also a touch surprised the same folks who have so enthusiastically blasted the present president for being foreign born, have not stepped up with even a short question about the Cruz roots.

C’mon. Cruz was born in 1970 in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Canada ... eh?

Who knows what hints of Canada-ism he may have deeply embedded in his soul ... such as a closeted desire for universal health care.

Cruz SAYS he’s against it ... but he was born in Canada. He wasn’t raised like ... us. He didn’t come to the states until he was 4 years old. Heck, that’s enough time for him to even learn to speak Canadian. Who knows, but that he might be a sleeper Mountie.

And then ... it wasn’t until 2014 that Cruz officially renounced his Canadian citizenship. 2014!!! What kind of contacts did he have with Canada before that time???

The whole thing looks suspicious. From Canada he moved to ... Texas! We’ve already had presidents from Texas.

One picked up his beagles by the ears and swung them gleefully around in circles while more than 55,000 soldiers, sailors and airmen died in Vietnam. The other created a war in Iraq that cost billions and saw thousands die in a purposeless war.

I think we need to put two or three presidents between now and the next time we select a president from a state in which many, if not most, of the citizens would rather be living in an independent republic than part of our club.

Please nominate Cruz.

Even without Jon Stewart, Cruz will make life so, So, SO comfortable for late night comedians and folks like me.

He is a joke who takes himself seriously. Many others take him seriously as well, but not necessarily members of his own party.

Republican Senator John McCain famously referred to Cruz as a “wacko.”

New York GOP Rep. Peter King noted: “Then we have Ted Cruz, who believed that the government should be shut down a year and a half ago ... do you really want a commander-in-chief who thinks the way to run the government is to read Dr. Seuss on the Senate floor and shut down the United States government?”

Good question. Do you???

Well, apparently a good percentage of the nation’s Republicans don’t.

A recent NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll pointed out 38 percent of Republicans said they would not support Cruz in a primary face-off.

Now, get this.

A poll conducted in January out in Iowa by Bloomberg and the Des Moines Register demonstrated that 20 percent of potential GOP caucus voters believe Ted Cruz is “... too conservative.”

Too conservative!!! For Iowa!!!

Holy moly! Why?

Well for one thing, Cruz wants to totally castrate the Social Security system. He, and others, openly refer to SS as “a ponzi scheme.”

Cruz would bump the age requirements up considerably for those hoping to retire and tap into the Social Security they’ve been paying into since they started working. He basically would put retirement out of reach for many working Americans. He also suggests cutting the level of future benefits.

Not unlike George W. Bush, Cruz would like to privatize most of the Social Security program, making it more dependent on the health of the stock market.

The stock market!!! Remember what happened to your 401K the last time the stock market got the sniffles???

But, hey!

Don’t pay any attention to me. Despite the volumes of Cruz inanities, he has not only a good chunk of the Tea Party gang behind him, he also apparently has God on his side.

Last July, Cruz, accompanied by his dad (a Baptist minister) was showered with blessings by a slew of fundamentalist pastors in Iowa. The Christian Reconstructionist clergymen, a group who believe that having a firm hold on the government will ultimately be a key factor in hurrying the second coming of Christ, offered Cruz their support praying:

“Father, we believe that no weapon formed against this man will prosper and every tongue that rises up against him in judgment will be condemned.”

To wit, anyone who criticizes Ted Cruz will be condemned to the fires of Hell.

Excuse me ...

I seem to be breaking out in a sweat.