PASTOR'S PEN: Building the strong foundation of marriage

pular in this country. The romance and fantasy can be elusive at times. What the Bible says about marriage should guide our thinking. First, marriage is between a man and woman as God designed it in the beginning. “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh”(Eph. 5:31).

What a glorious blessing to start a new home! It is so sad when couples do not do the homework needed to start on a solid foundation. How can you build a strong foundation without the one who will guide you to success? Seek the will of God. There must be a spiritual aspect to a happy successful marriage. Christ should be the center of the home.

Who would argue against the idea that oneness is the goal in marriage. Also, it starts with spiritual oneness. This is a priority for us. A believer should only look for another believer to marry. This one goal solves many problems. Connected to this is faithfulness, spiritual life and spiritual maturity.

Love is a benefit for the marriage. Love is learned. Don’t let Hollywood define love for you. You must define it as God does. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Eph. 5:25). Love is giving. Are you willing to die for your spouse? Christ died on the cross for our sins. He gave his all for us. We must love our wives above ourselves.

Wives have a role to play as well. We are not in competition with our spouses. We are to be one with them. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord”(Eph. 5:22). This is voluntary. Question is, can you trust your spouse? If not, why did you choose him? Choose a man that loves God. A man who puts himself under the authority of Christ. He will not hurt you intentionally. “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself”(Eph. 5:28).

Wake up America! Listen to God’s word. He knows what is best. There must be a balance. “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband”(Eph. 5:33). God holds the husband accountable as the leader in the home. “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is saviour of the body”(Eph. 5:23). When Adam and Eve disobeyed God and jumped into sin, God came first to Adam. He questioned Adam first. Each spouse of the marriage must put into the relationship 100 percent not 50 percent. Marriage takes work to be successful. We must know what God expects of us for our success. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered”(1 Peter 3:7).

Women are not weak. Yet our attitude toward them is to treat them as if they were weaker. By weaker, I mean special, sacred, and honored. I look at Prov. 31, which lists the role of the wife. Here we see a worker beyond words. Faithfulness is her character. There is no conflict here. There is partnership. There is cooperation. And when we put in 100 percent, both in the marriage benefit

We are to be one: Emotionally, socially, physically, and psychologically. And in any other way you may come up with. How do you do that without partnership? The man and wife must grow together by setting the same goals and dreams. They must establish their purpose and future in the will of God. Praying together, worshiping together, serving God together is oneness. It is your choice how you live in this life with your spouse. You choose whether or not to do your homework preparation for marriage.

Premarital council should be a requirement today. “Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and thy labour which thou takest under the sun”(Ecc. 9:9).

Set aside all the distractions inserted into the job of marriage. Partnership with your spouse. Today, we need families whose foundation is Christ. Marriage must be promoted and honored as it should be. Stand against the foolish attacks which tear down our society. Strengthen the foundations of marriage. It takes strong families to raise children. As God established a home in the beginning, let us bind up the wounded and help those in need. Never loose sight of the standard God has established. Trust Christ today. Do his will in our lives. Jesus said, “Ye must be born again.” Seek the wisdom of God for his success in marriage. Trust Christ today.